I hope mine doesn't look like that
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
