I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
