did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
