turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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