There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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