Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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