i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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