I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
