yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
