Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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