I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I didn't notice because vodka
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
