Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
