So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
