The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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