My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Alive.
So much puke
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My life is pants optional.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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