Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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