They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
