Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
someone get that fucking seahorse.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
