: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This baby is an asshole
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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