its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
