I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
