Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
