wake up i wanna do it froggy style
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
