Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
how does that bad decision feel?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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