i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
