Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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