He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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