We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
