i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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