Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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