Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
