I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think my moral compass just broke
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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