tell your sister to shave her snatch
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
