nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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