Don't you send me to vm
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
