He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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