I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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