wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
