I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
