This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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