But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you inspire me to be a worse person
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
