ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
