I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
