so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
