Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
