I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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