You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
