i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so explain again why im purple
no
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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