My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
