What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
