three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
