Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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