Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Let's get the cat blown out
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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