I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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