She said her name was "party"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize