It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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