when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dear god my vagina.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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